its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
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We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
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The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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