I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
