My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize