South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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