To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
