Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
