1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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