SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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