True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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