yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
