If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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