saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm both gender and math confused
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
