The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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