You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
handjob tips. give me some.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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