I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
