he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
