you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
