How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My hand turned me down
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
