I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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