i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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