I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
