So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
