either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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