It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
