Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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