Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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