definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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