Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
