Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
