My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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