girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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