Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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