I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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