You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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