We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
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a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
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I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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