Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
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They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
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Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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