Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
