how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
