Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
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So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
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Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize