She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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