he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize