quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
