He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize