McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
