Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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