They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
