Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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