he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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