so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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