So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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