I think my fart just growled at me.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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