Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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