Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
