If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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