White coat. Heels.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor