Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!