look no pants
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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