Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
