pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
