if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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