the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
