should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
