I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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