I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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